Oh the stories I could tell.....

I have really, really missed you. I got so used to writing in you at least once a week over the summer, and sometime every day. But school has taken all my time.

So, since I have no time I'm going to give you just the headlines of my life. Maybe that will tide you, and me over until I get a chance to actually talk to you. But this is the best I can do for now.

-to be read in the exciting voice of Colbert on his "tonight" list (if you don't know what I mean, just ask me. I'll imitate it for you)-



1. It's lifetime fitness at 7:20 in the morning. Will friends be made closer, or will they pull away? And what is Mr. Pill like when he's tired?

2. How long can you make your nylons last? Tips coming soon.

3. Weekly Dorm Society chapel? What good is it doing? We ask these hard questions and more to the person who came up with them, and we find, surprisingly enough, that he knows absolutely nothing.

4. Can you teach someone your job with only 2 hours every morning for one week? Do you know what are the most important aspects of your life? Learn how tonight.

5. Why does Joanna always have to stand behind the "political idiots" in the lunch line? Her reactions? And more interestingly, their reactions to her reactions?

6. Have a professor that can't finish reading the sentence before they pull completely the wrong conclusion out of it? How about one who tries to pull the strangest "truths" out of nothing? How about a professor that gets annoyed by questions? Or, how about one that does all three? You're in luck! I have one too. Let's compare notes, or painful groans.

7. When did democrat become a bad word? And no, I am NOT interested in joining your republican club. EVER.

8. What's the "Fundamentalism Fashion Faux Pas" for the day? Boys who consider themselves to be good dressers, and the girls who love them. Only problem? Their shoes are horribly unfashionable. You lose it with the shoes men, every single time. You're losing because of your shoes.

9. How to survive on little sleep. For the rest of your college career. Because trust me, you're never, ever going to get any again.

10. And through all of this, how to really, genuinely, completely enjoy yourself. Come on, it's college.





Have to run. I miss you. I'll try to fill you on on everything later. Don't worry about me, I'm doing just great - you may, however, want to worry about everyone else.