You don't want to know.

I should probably tell you that this is completely random. I don't really know where it came from. I had the greatest reservations about posting this, but I figured you guys know me anyway, so this shouldn't be too much of a stretch for you to imagine coming from me.

A question has been plaguing me for sometime:

If somebody with a popular anonymous blog died, how long do you think it would take before people stopped checking it? Or how many people would comment with those annoying comments,
"Post or I'm going to find you, and make you post."
"Why aren't you posting?"
"You are the best writer ever!!!!! Please bless us with your glorious words again!!!
"Dude, bring the words back."
"Please post again, please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE"
"post I red all of your'e writings, I luv them and u bring them bak."
"you idiot-say something."
before they realized that this person was never going to answer? Which brings me to another problem; If one friend knew who this anonymous blogger was, and after the funeral he wanted to let his friends loyal blog-readers know that they needed to move on to another blog, how would he tell them? By posting a comment on his friends blog? And what would that comment look like?

"Dear friends of "insert anonymous blog name here". I am a good friend of "insert anonymous blog name here", or maybe I should say I was a good friend of "insert anonymous blog name here" I regret to tell you that he has passed on into the hereafter. He went peacefully between a truck and a car - and did not emerge so peacefully. The funeral was a great success. I regret to make this matter known to you, because this means that his blog will no longer be used. His last post "Taken with Cheerios" is the last time his words will ever be published. I suggest you take a moment and review some of your favorite posts (may I suggest "Todd and I", "Choo-Choo Train", and of course everyone's favorite "Aloe-Vera for the soul") I hope all of you can take these truths that you have learned from "insert anonymous blog name here" and learn from them. "inset anonymous blog name here" will be greatly missed, and loved, and cherished, and never forgotten. May I steal from this great blogger and close this sad comment with my personal favorite quote, "Pain is ripping through my soul - I search - I seek - I find relief. I look down upon this relief and search for a name - a truth - an explanation for this sweet, sweet relief. And there I see, in my hand, a bottle full of green. And then, I realize that the name, is not all that it seems, the name is just a cover, covering what truth the bottle holds. The name is not important, oh no, the only thing truly important in life - is only the relief - only the feeling of relief. I wonder why I cannot explain it, why I cannot make you understand, I only know what I feel, I only know what I see, I only know the sweet, sweet relief of Aloe-Vera for the soul."

I hope we can all find our own Aloe-Vera to help with "insert anonymous blog name here" 's passing.
To Aloe-Vera,
"insert name of friend of anonymous blogger here"

How many people do you think would actually buy that?


-The above is to be read in a highly sarcastic form.
-Aloe Vera for the soul quotation is to be read with the great poetic voice of Professor G.H. Dorr

I'm disturbed by myself,
Joanna

121 days