The Epic

I may not be able to recite my teacher's definition of an epic poem like RuthAnn, but I do know an epic movie when I see one.

I just finished watching an epic. I had to watch it in 2 parts. (It was 2 hours and 45 minutes). Here is your (Joanna) definition of an epic:

1. Length - is necessary. Normal movie length will not do. I've never seen an epic less than 2 hours. Most are more.

2. War - There must be war in an epic. And even if the war is happening "off screen", there will inevitably be a scene where the main character stumbles blindly through the wreckage of war, smoke is present, the normal noise is gone and choirs or the main theme takes over, and the character practices their horrified expression. It may sound like I'm making fun of this scene, I'm not. Some of these scenes are phenomenal. Others are just necessary. Even if the scene is only there for necessity, you should still take notice. Even those scenes can serve as a good reminder. You know that it's a good scene if you don't notice that you're taking notice.

3. Love/Respect - There must be a love story. Even if there are no woman on screen, there must be a love story. (and no Adolescent Lit. class, I did not just say that there must be a gay love story) When someone selflessly gives up their life for another, you do feel love/respect. While most love stories do not play the largest part in an epic, they are usually ranked right up there behind war.

4. Vast, Sweeping Landscapes - Don't ever try to give me an epic without them. It won't be one.

5. Music - Please, epic makers, get a decent composer to write your theme. That theme is going to be played throughout the whole movie, it must be interesting enough that people can listen to it, long enough so you haven't used all of its options by the end of the movie, and complex enough so you can do interesting musical things with it. I'm sick and tired of cheap epic music.

6. "The Moment" - It is the only thing left that is necessary for an epic. The moment happens in every epic (it also tries to happen in many movies, but you tend to notice it more in an epic). "The Moment" should be inescapable. It should be when everyone watching is of their own volition completely silent, it should be incredible, music (usually choir) should ring out, the movie should make sense, you should feel as if you've learned something, most importantly - you should feel. Every epic has a "The Moment".
One thing that can go horribly wrong with "The Moment" is if you have too many of them. If there are multiple moments, then their importance is lost. If you're not sure which one is supposed to be "The Moment" it just means the director was trying too hard. He's sitting there thinking,
"Well if that didn't get them, this will. Oh wait, everyone's not crying yet? All right, I'll kill off the sidekick. (evil laugh) Didn't see that coming, did you? Not there yet, all right, I'm going to burn down their house. Seriously they're not in awe yet? All right- take this - love interest ... yeah she's going down".
"The Moment" should be easily discernible. And while there can be several very good moments - there should not be more than one (although I have seen one epic where two worked - but that was only one movie, and only two moments).



The epic works as a storyline. It does. It has worked for years, and it will continue to work. Don't screw with the formula for an epic. If you do, epic audiences will screw with you (lame, I know).