Oh Yeah

It is finally here.

I have been insanely busy the past few weeks. We've been training for our group, and we officially leave on Friday.

You know what's perfect about that day?

It happens after Thursday.

Which is the NFL kickoff.

My world just got better.



(Also enjoy 09/09/09--I know I have)

Please don't stop me now

--This is day 7 in "The 7 Last Days of Summer-- (Yes. This might be the last you hear from me in a long time)

Summer is over.

I was feeling sorry for myself today. My last two weeks have been insanely busy. I haven't had a day to call my own in a long time. And suddenly here it was, the last day of Summer.

I worked today--both jobs and my least favorite schedule. The specific times and details aren't important. What's important is how non-summer-relaxing this schedule is.

But then, I went and celebrated with the Summer of the Four. And suddenly it was okay.

We ate food--good food. We talked--nothing spectacular. We sang along--not the prettiest sound. We came up with the perfect adjective to describe an event--harder than it sounds. We enjoyed each other, the restaurant atmosphere, the beautiful weather, the enjoyable summer, the hope of things to come, and our theme song.

It was a good summer.

And yeah, that's my parting comment.

My (short) explanation- I also have a long version

--This is day 6 in "The 7 Last Days of Summer"--

I feel as if I should explain my next semester.

If you're reading this blog, you're probably a friend and you probably already know this, but I'm still going to explain.

This next semester I'm not taking any classes. When I told someone that, he asked me if I was dropping out. I assured him it was nothing so glamorous.

I am (starting on Monday) going to be in a team that goes out to promote the college in high schools. I'll be gone all semester.

There were a lot of reasons for this decision. And even though several times this summer I've doubted my sanity in accepting--I know this is what I need to be doing.

Here are a few questions people ask (and their respective answers):

1. Are you going to be behind in school?

Yes. I'll graduate a semester late. I did, however, switch my major after my freshman year, so I am already a little behind--this might actually help me get on track.

2. You're getting paid, right?

Yes. The school pays for the following semester. And since one of my life goals is to graduate from college debt free, and with some money saved up for an apartment, and/or grad school, this will help.

3. How many are there of you?

6. 3 girls and 3 guys. They stick us in a 15 passenger van, and...yeah that's about it.

4. Where are you going to be?

All over the states. I'm going to see Virgina, Maryland, North and South Carolina, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, New Jersey, Delaware, and all the great Midwestern states--several times.

5. Will you still blog?

All right, admittedly that is not one of the main questions on people's minds. But I think about it. I don't know--that's the simplest answer. We're going to be busy. I might be too tired to ever write in you. I might be so annoyed/overjoyed/disgusted/elated with my circumstances that all I can do is write in you. I hope I can at least keep up the once a month post, but don't count on anything.

Ah, don't get depressed. It's okay. I'm not leaving just yet. We still have one more day of summer.

You're right--it's depressing.

Corporate and I

--This is day 5 in "The 7 Last Days of Summer"--

I think a first, part-time high-school job is important for teenagers.

You learn skills you'll (hopefully) never use again. You become knowledgeable about things no one should ever be knowledgeable about. You deal with strange people daily. You learn how to juggle work-schedule/school/free time. You learn how to deal with co-workers. You learn how to deal with managers. And most importantly--you learn what Corporate is.

If you don't already know what Corporate is, let me fill you in:

Corporate is omnipotent.
Corporate is perfect.
Corporate hierarchy is flawless.
Corporate is a thing of beauty.

I remember being confused by Corporate (and yes, I am going to continue capitalizing its name) when I first started my job.

I read their memos, and found them amusing (so they're not exact quotes--this is, however, what they all sound like):

"The trends of the 08-09 Summer Season Clearance show the shifting of the economic structure. The general office team has decided to provide each store with the strategical connections to empower each member to fulfill the initiatives fully."

"While the imperatives issued in the last store-policy email have been implemented and been observed, the issue now turns to the operation head. If the head, while involving store and district policy, would see an area of yellow or red, the store manager would be the one to pass on the new policy to their teammates, on a personal and one-on-one basis."

"We are excited to roll out a new program that benefits the lives of our customers, shoppers, employees, and the general public. We will no longer be offering the special savings discount on the items (see the 4 attached sheets) for the well-being of our customer. We are sure this new program will revitalize shopper continuity, well-being satisfaction, and return-ability. Be eager in representing this program to the community."

I was amused by the memo's because they were poorly written, and because their exciting news was usually bad for everyone involved.

I quickly discovered other employees did not share my amusement. Sure they thought Corporate asked them to do stupid things, but they also thought that somehow, someway, somewhere Corporate still knew best.

I couldn't understand why they thought people sitting in an office from 9-5 knew more about their jobs than themselves-the ones actually completing the work.

But, ladies and gentleman, I discovered the secret to Corporate. The way Corporations exist is to hire hard workers, but not (necessarily) smart workers. Then, the Corporation throws around big words, numbers, graphs, stock photos, and titles (I think only the Government throws around more titles) all of which have one specific purpose. Simply put it says, "I am better and smarter than you."

It's childish how badly Corporate is scared of anything than what they're comfortable with. It's pathetic the steps Corporate takes to ensure themselves from ever being wrong (even when they are). It's amazing how many people fall for it every day.

"Sure", the lower-levels say, "Corporate is stupid, and doesn't understand my job. It tells me stuff I don't need to know, and doesn't tell me what I do need. But they're higher up than I am--they must know something I don't know."

They don't. Trust me, they seriously don't.

"I didn't do enough"

--This is day 4 in "The 7 Last Days of Summer"--

I've been thinking about injustice.

I've been thinking about it for awhile. I can't track down exactly where it started, I was in the middle of it before I knew it began (I love that sentence almost as much as I love that book). But now I can't make it stop.

The more I think about it, the harder it seems to grasp. Not the concept. The concept is simple. But how the concept is played out--that's what's hard.

It's easy to know, to say people are unjust. ("People are unjust"--that's how easy it is.) But it's incredibly hard to come to terms with the extent of injustice people inflict.

I started my summer off with reading about injustice. I didn't chose the book because of that. I didn't even know it was a main theme until I got in the middle of the book--I just knew I wanted to read it. About halfway through the book, suddenly injustice was all I could see.

I can't blame the book entirely though. I've been watching movies. Many plot themes in books and movies are driven by some form of injustice. For some reason, I've been reading/seeing them all this summer. I've also been re-thinking through some situations--injustice plays a large theme in each one.

If you knew my life, you would know there was a moment this summer in which injustice and stupidity collided--at that moment they were one and the same.

This leads me to wondering, is injustice always stupid? Are there good injustices?
Is injustice really everywhere? It seems like it is. But I also know when you're thinking about something seriously, it becomes all you think and see.

I've also been wondering about the extent of injustice. What is the height of injustice? Are there levels or degrees of injustice? What kind of injustice is worse than another?

I watched a movie. I had needed to see this movie for a long time. While I was watching it, I remember thinking "This--what these people are doing here--this is injustice. This is the height of injustice." The film did not condone the injustice, and it was one of the most moving films I had ever seen.

Later that day, I watched another movie (It was my day off-deal with it). It started simply enough. Suddenly I discovered injustice was rampant in this film as well.
Yes, it was a different kind of injustice. Instead of dealing with a race, it was dealing with one human. The film was supposed to be romantic, but yet all I could see was the injustice.

I was disturbed. I didn't feel the way about the second film's injustice as I had about the first film's injustice. Was I wrong? Should I feel the same about all injustices?

But none of those are my real problems. My real problem is "What does this mean for me?"

Intellectual exercises are wonderful, but they can only take you so far. At a point, the exercise becomes personal. Trust me, I know.

There's a group, and they are pushing for a bill to be passed. I look at this bill, I look at this group, and I wonder "Is pushing this through unjust to other people?"
and "Is not pushing it through unjust?"

I look at this group's history. I see issues where I firmly believe they failed. I see times when I believe they should have stood for true justice (not what they were told was justice), and I'm deeply disturbed they haven't.

I wonder why this bill is different from those other times. Am I one of the ones going along simply because it sounds right? If the bill is a form of injustice (to either party), is that all right? Are there acceptable forms of injustice? Like the movies, can I be horrified by one, but complacent about the other? Are future generations going to look back and say "How did they not see the injustice of this?"
"How did they not stop what they were doing and fight for justice?"

Is justice what I want?

Am I fighting against injustice?

Should I be fighting against all injustices, or simply select injustices?

What should I be doing?


What was the response to the quote in the title? If you remember, there were vague reassurances, the promise of a brighter tomorrow, and a looking at past accomplishments--it was, in essence, a placation.

And yet, you still knew the man was right--he didn't do enough. He could have done more, but he didn't.


I don't want that to be me.

Happy 2nd Birthday

You are now officially two years old.



I have posted 143 times. (this will be 144)

Last year was 78. That brings this years total to 65 posts.

I have posted at least once every month for the past two years.

The high month this year was January (although August will pass that up in a few days.)

And this year, unlike last year, had no months with only one post (although there are 3 months with only 2).


I don't have much more to say.

I enjoy you more than you, or anyone else, will ever know.

I don't understand

--This is day 3 in "The 7 Last Days of Summer"--

It's a phrase people say. I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean, and I'm never sure what to say in response. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to take it literally--I think it's supposed to be a joke. It's not funny, and yet people persist in saying it (the perfect definition of a joke).

I'm sure you've heard some form of it.

Whenever I hear it, the previous conversation has centered around an annoyance. The annoyance being another human: spouse, child, parent, boss, employee, or co-worker etc.

At some point in the conversation the speaker says,

"Guess that's just him being a man. I tell you--men. Wouldn't the world be perfect without them?"

or

"You know if women ran the world, there would be no problems."

or (from the other POV--I've heard my share of both)

"Women--can't live with them, can't live without them."

or

"Women create all the problems in the world--life would be better without them."

or

"That's just a feeble-minded response from the weaker sex." (I've actually heard this applied to both)

That is not the worst part of the conversation, though. The awkwardness multiplies when the person looks at you and smiles.

My problem is simple. All I want to know is "NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

Do I smile back? That makes it look as if we are sharing some mystical bond of genderhood (which I actually don't think is a word. Substitute womanhood or manhood-I just hate both those words.)

Do I laugh? Were you making a joke? You were annoyed about something, and I thought we were talking about solutions. Is your best solution seriously making the other gender extinct?

If I don't laugh, do I have to explain why I'm not laughing? Do I sit you down and explain that taking your frustrations from one human, and blaming them on the whole of the opposite sex is cheap and unworthy of anyone? Do I explain there are lots of human beings in the world, and every human being thinks differently than every other human being? And how, although confusing as it sometimes is, if you care enough about the other person (regardless of whether they are the opposite or same sex) you'll spend time trying to figure out where you two differ?

Or do I just laugh because I know no one--not even the annoyed speaker--actually wants that?


I'm confused, and I always will be. Every time someone says something like it, I want to make them stop. And then go think about what they just said.

It's not funny, it's not true, it's not intelligent, it's not a good idea, it's not possible, and it's still not funny.

How are people still saying it?