Two Open Letters

Everyone gets to write open letters this time of year, and I was feeling slightly jealous.


Dear President Bush,
I have never loved you. However, I think I should also note that I have never hated you. I do not totally blame you for this war, our gas crisis, our economic crisis, global warming, bad health care, and everything else that is wrong in this world.
You in no way deserve all of that blame.
I cannot lie. The whole Texas cowboy thing definitely annoyed me at times, but that has nothing to do with you. In fact, most of the South annoys me at times.
Yes, I would have wanted to change some of your decisions, but in perfect honesty eight years ago, I was 11. I would give a lot to be able to change some of my decisions from then until now. You and I are alike in that we both don't believe in constantly thinking about which of those decisions we would change. Frankly, it's a waste of time, and mental peace. I know that I chose some wrong truths to believe, did some very stupid things, and hurt some people that I love. (Just look at all we have in common) I would love to go back and be able to change those wrongs. Unfortunately, I am a (slightly) logical person, and knowing that I can't change them makes me not want to go back and pin down when each specific decision was made. Unfortunately, I am a (slightly) analytical person, which means I want to go back and pin down each decision so I know which decisions not to make in the future. Don't be bullheaded about defending your decisions, but don't constantly fret over every single one either. There is not enough Zoloft that will compensate if you do either of those things heavily.
Moving on will be weird, but you're going to do fine. You'll disappear from the public eye for awhile, and then reappear stronger than ever, with more wit and wisdom then we originally credited you for (like Bill Clinton). And no matter what anyone says, you held the world's hardest job for 8 years. Relax. In about 2 years, everyone will put your presidency into perspective and will realize that you were not the world's worst president; you were just in the running for awhile. Take a deep breath, it's all over now.

Dear President Obama,
I'm going to level with you, so listen carefully. I foresee us as having issues in the future. You are a fake intellectual, and that really annoys me (see "Pithy sayings vs. Fake intelligent remarks"). I listen to you when you talk, and I like the pretty words, I like the voice tone, I like the feeling I get, but unfortunately for our relationship, I know how easy and fleeting that like is. I grew up in a family of intellectuals, so I know that it's not what you say that matters, it's how you say it. You know that you can say whatever you want as long as you make it sound more intelligent then the other person. That wasn't exactly tough for you because you were arguing against John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin.
However, in the continued interest of leveling with you, I am interested to see what you're going to do. If anyone has an open road ahead of them, its you. You have the Senate, the House of Representatives (I could have just said Congress, but I'm listing for effect), and the White House. On top of that, the media is willing to lay down and die for you. Maureen Dowd will probably defend you until her dying day (you lucky dog, you), and the American People are pulling for you. You have it all. Now, we want it all. You have promised us Utopia, and we have given you the tools that you need to make us Utopia. We're going to expect a return on that payment pretty soon.
I feel sorry for you. You having it all. When you chose "change" as your word for you campaign, I thought that was your best campaign choice ever (seconded only by your campaign music). Everyone is unhappy with their life in some way, and when you promised a vague (and don't you ever argue that it's not vague. Ever.) change, everyone's mind immediately jumped to the things in their life that they want changed. You were promising that. You have promised change to people in ways that you have no intention of ever changing. That word was marketing genius. I don't want to be you when those people begin to realize what the difference between your change and their change is. No, I really don't envy you that.
But, I said I was going to level with you, and I am. Mr. President, I'm pulling for you. I don't know why, I know it won't make a difference, but I'm pulling for you. I'm not hoping for you to fail, I'm not hoping for you to give up, I'm not hoping for you to back track on your promises, I don't want any of that. I'm hoping for myself. I'm hoping that I am cynical, I'm hoping that I am jaded, I'm hoping that you prove me wrong. Please, prove me wrong.


The best of luck to both of you,
Joanna